Squidward: Ah, it sure is peaceful around here since SquarePants became a sad sack.Now, here's a humor theory textbook, laugh mechanics, and the quantum giggle theory. Sandy: Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob.Sandy: But scientifically speaking, it's caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.SpongeBob: The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose, but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.Sandy: Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob.After all, money is the ultimate source of joy. I don't usually do this but you seem desperate. Ya know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh. Krabs: You've come to the right place, son. SpongeBob: I went a whole day without laughing and now my laugh is gone.Delivery Fish: Look out for that pie truck!.Just back away from the whoopee cushion, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob.Patrick: You can't? Oh, I know what to do! That usually knocks him out.SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick! Please stop!.SpongeBob: Patrick, banana peel, don't!.Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, how's it going?.SpongeBob: Thank you so much, Squidward! I don't know what I'd do without you! A day without laughter is a small price to pay to save my laugh box from utter destruction.But you better go 24 hours just to be safe. Squidward: Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say at least for the rest of the day.SpongeBob: How long do I have to avoid laughing?.Squidward: Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing.SpongeBob: I don't want to burn out my laugh box, Squidward.Sandy: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!.SpongeBob: Sure, I'd love a good laugh.Sandy: Hey, Patrick, you want to hear a joke?.If you burn your laugh box you live your whole life without ever laughing again. What? No! Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious. SpongeBob: Is that what happened to you, Squidward?.If you use it too long without giving it a break, it burns out and you can never laugh again. Squidward: Yes, it's the part of your body that enables laughter.Squidward: SpongeBob, you've got to be careful! You're going to burn out your laugh box.SpongeBob: I have been laughing a lot, lately.Unless you've been doing a lot of laughing. Squidward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.Squidward: And your temperature is 175 degrees!.Squidward: Tell me, SpongeBob, have your sides been hurting?.Squidward: Begone, laughing tormentor! This could be my chance.SpongeBob: Another day, another nickel.SpongeBob: Another day, another.nickel! 2 Krabby Patties.Customer #1: And always check for spare change.SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, see you tomorrow.It's not that funny! Please make it stop! SpongeBob: It's funny, because it's true!.SpongeBob: Good one, Squidward! Another day, another nickel.Squidward: What do you want, SpongeBob?.This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode " Funny Pants" from season 4, which aired on September 30, 2005. " Dunces and Dragons" List of episode transcripts
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